Allme I wanted to say that I'm very sorry this happened to you. Transference is something that a therapist must take responsibility for handling. You were the patient, the one looking for help. Not harm. He was very wrong for this. Like the one member said it equates to incest. Transference is often over how we view our parents in childhood. What we wanted from them or didn't have. It's awful he tried to provide that in a sexual way. It is in all means rape. Statutory rape. They use the term when people sexually abuse those incable of saying no. Children, people with intellectual disabilities. And yes us, the ones vulnerable from mental illnesses. It's even more awful when you have to love the man who raped you. I know how this feels. You defend him. You deny it. You tell yourself you started it. But he's manipulated you, even brainwashed. You trusted him and he took that from you. I'm just sorry.

I also just read about how your T doesn't respond. This is a typical reaction to counter transferance. You were never in love with him and he was never in love with you. In all truth. He maybe appreciated taking care of you. Fell for the fact that you depended on him. Fell for you needing him. And when you left you didn't need him anymore. You didn't solely depend on him. Growing up maybe your father coddled you, gave you lots of attention of the opposite, ignored you, now your sitting in T's office telling him all your life problems. He's giving you all this undivided attention. Maybe you tell him how much you need him. T grew up as the oldest child and took care of his two siblings and a ill mother while his father worked till 8pm. He falls for the ones he has to take care of, the ones that have to depend on him. It gives him control even. A lot of therapists are caretakers by nature. Now that you're not there, he can't have the control. He never loved you. He loved coddling you. He loved domineering. And that would never work out in a relationship. (of course that's an example of how transference can go... I don't know the dynamics of you and your T). In therapy though transference is okay. Counter transference is not. Especially when it leads to things like this. And patients get hurt worse.