Sunrise, it sounds like your outcome was as good as it gets. I'm happy that your children still have two parents that they can see regularly.

"If the parents put the kids first, they will not do stuff like move out of town, because they know how important and healthy it is for kids to have two parents in their lives. Gilead, what your wife did was awful. I hope you can find a way to stay involved with your children. They need their Dad to be in their lives."

This is the situation that BILBO has to avoid - by shooting for the same outcome as you were able manage.

Intellectually my wife understood the ramifications of what she was doing, emotionally it is only her needs that mattered. I'm convinced that a large part of her withdrawal from our relationship was to overcome that. I was an active participant in our marriage and trying to keep it together, she needed me not to participate anymore in order for her leave - so she did everything she could to break any tie she had with me while we were together. It took her months to do it but by the time she left she couldn't have cared less about anything but leaving. As I had said earlier she would not even be in the same room with me nevermind treat me like a human being. I would actually come home and give her a big hug and a kiss before she'd disappear - always in front of the kids to show them that everything was ok.

On a brighter note I have the kids this weekend - as long as the weather holds up, might snow later today with some freezing rain for the trip back on Sunday. The kids know how I feel about them and that they are the center of my world - I stay as involved as I can.

Wolfsong - your uncle is ok now I hope? Thank you for the reachout, I appreciate it but don't have the slightest notion how to respond - just part of my difficulty with the world.

BILBO - the counseling idea is something you really need to consider - if nothing else it will give you the strength you need to move forward no matter what happens.