I had a major fight with my mom, and figured out that the strain in our relationship boils down to two events: me leaving my hometown at 19 and "desserting" her, and going wedding dress shopping eight years ago with a girlffriend instead of her (she had the flu - I had to hurry, I was relocating to the U.S. from Canada to get married, and wanted to make sure the dress was ready in time). She hasn't "forgiven" me for either. My sister wrote me today that she never wants anything to do with me ever again, and I'm fine with that. She also says she won't be seeing our family at Christmas, but will "send gifts" - which shows just how much my kids mean to her. My husband has been a great friend to me today, and has helped me to understand that at 65 and 42, neither of them will change and I have to accept that. You're right Lee, at the end of the day all we have is family, but my husband and kids are all the family I need. I can't continue to be "wrong", and for them to be "right", I can't take the drama.

Thanks again for the words of advice. It's always easier to deal with the craziness in my life when I get such wonderful support from the people here.

Happy Holidays!