i am posting this thread here and in ACOA. i hope that procedure is acceptable with guidelines.
i have a long time friend who i once sponsored in AA before i moved away from that area. i had planned to visit her, her husband 16+ years sober/clean, and their 9 children for xmas. they live 1200 miles from me. i was so looking forward to this visit as i had planned xmas alone. i have not physically seen them in over 10 years.
we talk on the phone daily and i just found out her addiction to oxcy's is in full force. she had kept this a secret from me and her husband. i had recently discussed this with her when she fessed up to me. i had noticed on more than one occasion that she was slurring her words. she kept reassuring me she was not using or drinking. she was emphatic she was clean. her conscience forced her to fess up. she sees me as the solution which i am not. only she can make that happen.
tonight she called me and was totally out of her mind, discussing suicide by saying she didn't want to live anymore, blah blah blah. this past week she tried to overdose and called her oldest daughter to take her to the ER telling her it was something else that needed to be taken care of. so she lied to all of us even tho we all know she is totally messed up.
this has totally triggered me because i lost my best girl friend of a lifetime 18 years ago due to this disease. she took 100 ativan, taped a plastic bag over her head with duct tape and was found dead the next day by her family. i was devasted by this violent death because i know "there is a solution" but she chose to take the other path...death by the despair of her addictions.

if you came to this forum cause you think you have a problem i hope you read this post. there is a solution to arrest this horrible disease of addiction. many of us have been successful in staying clean and sober. you can too but you need to be totally honest with yourself and be willing to change.
i am not sure if i will spend xmas with them now. it seems that it will be too painful to watch this friend self destruct too. she already knows the answers but always takes her will back, 16 years, and this is another of those times. each time she is gambling with death and each time the consequences are more severe. i really don't think she will survive this time around. it's russian roulette. she is 44 yrs. old.
i know i am powerless over her decisions but her actions to succumb to the evil power of addiction time and time again is so very very painful to me. there is an easier softer way. i am grateful for my sobriety because i chose the right path to freedom. so if you're reading this i hope you will know there is hope for you too. for my friend i'm not hopeful anymore. i fear it's too late.
sorry for the long post...i needed to put it out there because i am so sad it has come to this. thank you for reading.