Troy, from what I have been reading so far, it sounds like you have an amazing story to tell, and very personal. I encourage you to keep your upcoming appointment.

As far as feeling like a failure for your diagnosis, believe it or not this a very easy way of thinking to come by when it comes to Veterans (I'm a Vet myself). In the military we put this guise over ourselves, it is a certain appearance of toughness, nonetheless, it equates to success in the military.

There is an interesting video called Tough Guise that touches on some of this.

I completely understand where you are coming from about not trusting a "shrink". Believe it or not, this can be a subject to talk about with your therapist/shrink. Ultimately, it can bring up discussion of boundaries and trust.

I wish you the best.