Today the job search began in earnest. The market is virtually nil here. The temp agencies have absolutely nothing. And I have no references, and a spotty work history. But the clubhouse itself can be a reference, given the fact that I do actual *work* there, in contrast to sitting around all day bouncing dice on a table. Also, a volunteer position has just opened up (God's timing?) which consists of doing the same type of filing and clerical work I have been doing at the clubhouse. It is once a week and won't interfere with the clubhouse. It, too, can provide me with a reference and experience. I can keep doing the clubhouse and volunteer work until I find a paying position.

I've been attending the clubhouse for less than a year, and I can safely say I never would have made such progress at the nanny program. In the past year I have been learning to cope with less than ideal working situations. If I can handle sitting next to someone who is schizophrenic and will randomly yell obscenities, I can cope with anything. I think. And I have learned that sitting at home when I don't feel well doesn't make me feel any better. Going to the clubhouse anyway, however, just might.

I think the biggest difference between a nanny program and one that actually helps is this: A nanny program teaches you how to keep your government assistance coming. A helpful program teaches you how to outgrow the need for government assistance.