Flawless....now, I usually catch myself before I go off the deep end into harsh emotional chaos. I mean, maybe it happens once every year or so--and I am very, very proud of that....because when it does happen now, my husband almost freaks as much as I do: because we remember what it was like. Sometimes horrible. And for what? No good came of it, ever. It never helped the situation and always felt like gross and depressing behavior afterwards--at best. So..........I learned to catch that nano-second of choice-----because there is one. For every eruption, and for every peak in the eruption, there's this itsy moment when I can stave off the worst of it--but I have to get away from people immediatly. And I mean immediatly! OR at least be on my way to getting there, preferably with my back turned to them--literally. If I have to slide by someone to get away, that meltdown can happen in a flash. I almost never had one when I was alone--they might start, but would dissolve in tears, and that would eventually wear out and I would be very, very quiet the rest of the day until it was time for bed, then I've maybe go to bed a little early...and in the morning? There was always something that I liked, something I had the tiniest bit of gratitude for that was a sort of whew! and let me keep the memory of the mess in perspective. I'd still take it easy--avoid people, I mean--or go someplace there were people but in some quiet environment----like the library. (Movies were out, because they access an emotional part of your brain...pre-corticol or something, and I couldn't be sure I wouldn't be triggered back into the ugliness.)

Long post...........