This is often the toughest deal to tackle at the VA hospital. Modern family therapy does not typically focus on the "problem child" or adult for that matter, in the family. This is something that cannot be practiced at the VA due to the whole eligibility mess.

Maybe you can research local support groups in your immediate area, or possibly at the VA. I would consult a social worker at the mental health clinic at your VA. I am a clinical social worker at a VA and I often work with families and make phone calls to spouses (as long as a release of information is provided by the patient).

This is something that the VA is finally recognizing. The effects of PTSD symptoms do not lay with only the trauma recipient but often trickle into the family structure and cause tension. Seek help, you are not alone in this fight. Stay strong and keep your chin up. I wish you all the best. If I can offer any advice or insight please let me know.