I know its sad like i dont think im ever going to be happy with how i look and i wish i could tell my family but they wouldnt care. Or they would force me to eat and not try to talk about it. They dont want to hear about peoples problems or if they're upset etc. I feel like im being dramatic alot of the time..like today im absolutely fine and havent thrown up for a few days.

I tell my boyfriend quite alot of my problems and hes the only person ive ever told stuff too, but i dont feel like he understands. and like im annoying him :/ i know i need to tell people about my probelms though. ..But then they might try to make me to stop and that worries me soo much :S

Im sorry im rambling again. Its just very confusing. Ive always been brought up not to talk about stuff and my family dont want to know. Then my boyfriend trys to encourage me to talk and i have both sides in my ear and i dont know who to listen to. All i know is i need to get better. And escape everyone. My head feels like its going to explode and when i get stressed i dont eat and i puke. I just wish someone would take me away from everything and talk to me and so i could recover.