Were you on any other medication before you started to cycle i.e. had you been prescribed anti-depressants? For many with bipolar finding the right medication is highly frustrating. I do believe in giving a med the chance to work before I voice my concerns (unless it's causing me to go hypomanic). If you have been on the med/dose longer than 3 months it's worth requesting a med change.

I'm also a type A personality and what helped me was to read quality books on bipolar. The one in my signature is excellent and since it's written for spouses, family members your wife may find it helpful.

Have you found shift work triggers your symptoms? It's not ideal for someone with BP to work shift and/or have irregular sleep patterns. After my diagnosis I had to get permission from my pdoc to go back on shift. I do notice a dip in my mood after my nights, but it's been manageable. I really enjoy my job and shift work is part of it, but if you don't really enjoy your career perhaps a job change may help?