I am just so exhausted of fighting day after day for what limited sanity I have found in my life. I can't say I am suicidal, but I do want to go as close as I can with the hope that fate will kick me off the edge.
My S/O called me a coward on Friday night and I supposed that is what I am. I am supposed to be "on call" for work today which is a bloody way for them to use us and make us work when not giviing us a day off- the liars!!!!
I already wrote T and he just sent me a link to step 10 in the 12 step program. His way of telling me I am not following whatever I need to follow I guess. I have just had it. I don't want to SI but it is very hard to not do that when it does give some type of comfort when the world stinks.
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