how can I get rid of the blue print? I don't feel comfortable having my blue print based on being SA as a young child. Anyone with thougths on that?

I have been asking myself the same question for a long time. it takes some hard work and a bit of luck, i think. as a child, if you are not able to discern abuse, the a child seems to interprete it as a learning experience. since it's a negative learning experience, it can be difficult to shake off since children seem to think in generalizations. you need to be patient with yourself and to sow some doubt into the things you learned as a child that seem to be irrefutable. gradually and hopefully, you can unlearn what you learned as a child and replace the old experiences with new, positive ones. i believe that some luck is involved because, when trying to make these changes (since sexuality involves another person), if things do not turn out for the better then your old learned beliefs may be reinforced.

are you ready to let in some new, positive love / sexual experiences?