I'm completely manic right now. i feel so impulsive.. like ridiculously so. i've pushed my bank account to its max, so there's not much i can do, but i feel like i will EXPLODE if i dont do anything!
i feel irritated and ANGRY!! because my stepdad keeps trying to talk to me and i dont want him to!!! thats completely unnecassary!
why am i cycling so quickly nowadays? the periods used to be months, or at least weeks of one particular feeling now they are days! i was suicidal on Monday.
By Thursday i'm laughing my head off, sat on my own, getting a train halfway accross the country to have sex with my ex-manager.... I changed my clothes on the TRAIN AND IT THRILLED ME!
I even enjoyed work, AND GOD did i get a ALOT done! My manager has already referred to the old Jekyll and Hyde line i've only worked there 3 months!!
I decided last night me and my gay best friend are gonna have a baby together. now i've changed my mind again!
i've changed my room around 4 times this week. OCD organisation going on up there i tell ya!!
I have been down and then up since i last saw my careworker, i've self harmed, seriously contemplated suicide and had an auditory hallucination since i last saw her, in what i thought was going to be a severe low phase, but it wasnt! All that seems a million miles away right now, i cant even think to tell her about that... i just want to enjoy this, but i know its not good, cause i'm walking on a tight rope, VERY high up