I have such a hard time expressing myself when I am there with my therapist that she had me journal every day and e mail it to her. Otherwise we talked about her agenda rather than what I wanted to say. It has really helped as I felt the way you do until I did this. I am so sorry as it is a terrible feeling and frustrating to go and have it get a life of its own and not say anything you intended or nothing at all. Just a suggestion I hope you come up with a method that works for you.. Take care.