If I view this "gift" as an endowment rather than an affliction I might be grateful for the notion that the struggle has given me greater appreciation for brighter days....maybe.

My current laziness gives me only a halfhearted sense of responsibility. If I had the wherewithal...I would tack my diet, my sleep patterns, along with seasonal changes and all the variables that could effect my mood....but would that change the outcome? Or would it be even more disappointing if I couldn't change the outcome?

So I just allow it to be....yet my inclination is to assume it must be my fault.

.....a way too wordy way of saying "it is what it is"