I have been in a very neurotic marriage. She has separated 3 times. I have never separated from her. Whenever things get challenging, she has decided to bolt. A couple of weeks ago, she said that she was wanting to try dating each other and go to couples counseling religiously. Then literally the next day she starts saying that she only thinks of me as a friend. Not only do I get the "friend" line, she also says that she was just discussing the possibility of getting back together. I asked her why she didn't actually think it through before she decided to pull the rug from out of me, so to speak.

Now she is being hateful in the worst way. She implies that I don't want to see my daughter. She says that I'm not being truthful when I tell her that I have to do. That is, if she would be flexible and watch her on a day I can't watch her, things would be fine. But no, that would be to nice. So in a nutshell she jumps to conclusions about my daughter of 3 and I. She implies that I'm lying when I told her that my daughter wanted to see my wife. I feel so angry and hurt when she implies that I'm a bad father. With this being said, I gladly have our daughter about half of the time. Whenever she asks me to watch our daughter on days, I gladly say yes. I know my wife deals with a lot of back and joint pain. Therefore, I offer to give our daughter a bath before I bring her home. I go out of my way to show that I love and care about my daughter whenever I wonder why I even care what my wife thinks.

The most frustrating, pathetic, and foolish thing about all of this is that I am just as much to blame for things being this way. Unlike with other people, I have the hardest time being assertive with her instead of being a "doormat". I don't know why I can't stay angry with her enough to stand up for myself in the future. I don't know why I kept getting back with her. She is just the opposite. She seems to be incapable of forgiveness. She frequently brings up the past. What really gets under my skin is that her behavior is the most ambivilent and duplicitous in regards to her criticisms of me in the former and the way she treats me in the latter. I feel like such a fool. I like to think I live in hope. However, maybe this has been nothing but so-called false hope after all. Why do I still love her? Why is she the only person I've ever had a relationship with that I cannot stand up for myself. She treats me like a selfish and dishonest child. It's all ridiculous.