I know that suicide seems like the easy solution right now, but it really is not. Just think of all the grief you will leave behind. I contemplated suicide for some time and I cannot go through with it because of my strong love for my parents. I've planned out the whole scenario in my head hundreds of times, but in the end, I can't imagine not being able to sing my favorite song at the top of my lungs, the exhileration of riding rides at the fair every summer, hugging my parents and telling them I love them, or cuddling up with my kitties and just feeling their tiny heartbeats as they purr in my lap. Just think about other things besides your cousin, what you can live for, things you'll never be able to do again because you won't be there. For a little while, erase bad thoughts and just LIVE. Figure out what it's really for, for the joy of feeling a cooling spring rain on your face, for the joy of playing fetch with your dog, for the pure and simple pleasure of eating a huge ice cream sundae on a hot summer day or drinking a mug of hot chocolate and letting it warm you inside and out while the cold winter blizzard rages outside.

And also, think about getting some outside, professional help. Let someone listen to you pour your heart out and weigh in with their advice and explain to you why you feel like you can't live without your cousin's love.

Just reconsider why you're thinking these thoughts and know that you can get help. I have no doubt that you love your cousin very much, but maybe talking with someone else will help you decide what you are really thinking and feeling inside, not just about her, but about the rest of your life too. I wish the best for you and hope to hear back from you soon.

ranzi

i'm gonna get free