I think because he has meant such a great deal to you, you feel like you have very deep feelings for him. And you thinking he's cute doesn't necessarily make you gay. I'd define gay as being sexually and emotionally attracted to other men, moreso than women. Many people have same sex crushes though, that does also happen. Maybe you should just enter into some introspection and if you feel like it, speak to a professional about it. It has helped many people with confusion. But either which way, gay, straight or bi, you are a human being worthy of love. Hope you're doing fine :-)