I think the memory issue is tied to the attention issue....
What I mean by that is this: you had ADHD and your attention is affected. Your memory could be different because you may have only been able to keep focused long enough to get a brief point of a conversation or subject. So your memory will be different because you may have been distracted during the event. Your wife, who isn't AHDH, can keep her focus throughout an entire conversation or event.

So, even though you may feel that you were focused, that is only your preception and may be a little "off" from the truth. I have this problem with people all the time so I understand your fusteration!