Just signed adoption papers, i knew this was coming i just didn't think it would make me feel so miserable...it's just papers. did you know (in some states, mine) your name gets taken off the birth cirtificate and the adoptees take it's place, it's like a memory that will be erased. i'm not gonna even write what i think about myself and i don't want to call my p-doc because we have already had this conversation i don't know what more she can add. i hate feeling pain and i hate having to hide it so others don't see how bac it's effecting me. i liked it better when i was an unemotional little kid, at least nothing affected me. i need to go for a walk or something i feel like giving up. i had tto get this out i can't tell anyone i know how i am feeling everyone thinks i'm fine with the situation. i need something to dull the pain. theres only so much someone can endure in life.