Broken - I'm so sorry to hear of your relationship problem. We talked a bit by PM so I won't go over that again, but I do want to address your point about "fighting for him".

You've got to give him space, especially as you've been abusive to him. He needs to learn to trust that you will respect him when he says "no". He already probably feels very guilty as it is, but he had to make the hard decision between his own health versus you. If you "fight" for him, you'll push him away -- believe me. Take this time to fix yourself up; get lots of therapy, meds if you are willing and your doctor agrees. Make as much progress as you can between now and the next time HE contacts YOU, so that you have good news to report. He needs to know that you take him seriously. Don't fight -- just work on yourself.

We're here for you,
LMo