I know so well what that feels like. I lived in this same emotional desert for such a long time without anyone understanding or even suspecting. These words were written for me:

No one knows what its like to be the bad man

To be the sad man

Behind blue eyes

Yet for me at long last someone has come along to ease the pain and loneliness but now that she is so very ill both mentally and physically and in all possible ways so far away from me, these old painful memories of nothing come back tenfold.

Yes, things will get better. They always do, just when you think you have hit rock bottom. There will always be new life and new light for you. I would not have believed it myself, but it is the truth. Every minute is another minute forward toward a time when you will feel better.