Hello, Dark_Dreams. Do you understand why you are so driven? Is your self-worth determined by what you do rather than who you are? Why are you angry?

Yes, making it through under the circumstances should count for something. Since doing so does not seem to count to you, who do you want to recognize your efforts?

Do you have anyone besides a therapist to talk too? Is there someone who will listen and not try to fix? How about a person to share your successes with?

Years ago, I could not get along with people. I tried to be Simon and Garfunkel's rock and island, http://www.lyricsfreak.com/s/simon+a..._20124809.html I succumbed to the pain of my own thoughts and cried.

Too, I tried to be Aristotle's beast: "But he who is unable to live in society, or who has no need because he is sufficient for himself, must be either a beast or a god: he is no part of a state." http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:bM-UYZojNQcJ:www.constitution.org/ari/polit_01.htm+aristotle:+beast+or+god&cd=1&hl=en&ct =clnk&gl=us
Instead, I crashed. Burnout and depression beat me down. http://www.helpguide.org/mental/burn...s_symptoms.htm

The way back has been tortuous and sisyphean. Fortunately, I am somewhat better now.

What do you want for yourself, Dark_Dreams? Are you willing to risk burnout to get there?