Thank you. It really helps to vent doesn't it? It's never as easy as what we can write in a few paragraphs. I wish I had come on here sooner.

Years ago my husband said if things ever got bad we would go to counseling...well a few years ago I asked him and he said, 'NO' - he has done nothing wrong and it's a waste of money anyway. Truthfully - we can't afford it.

I'm past angry at this point - so is he. We are indifferent right now. When the kids were gone last weekend - I got a glimpse of MY HUSBAND....about 20 minutes later it was right back to where we are now. I was speaking and he cut me off mid-sentence to force his point of view - I just shut-down all over again.

(When I worked - I had a higher position and made more money than he did - after kids and staying home - he was hell-bent on putting me in my place - a stay at home mother)...ooooh the stories I could tell.

We have years of small resentments built up between up followed by a few 'zingers' ourselves. Do you ever really get past those?

My objective now is to get myself squared away, go back to work and figure out how I am going to move forward. Finding a job now is not so easy - I never thought I would be facing this. The hardest part of this aside from my children, is that I was a really strong person - every so often "I" come back out...and BAMM he's sure to knock me down all over.

On the surface he is the perfect man. He's kind, smart, helpful, LOVES the kids, very handsome, can fix everything around the house, I could go on and on - he is a good person. My women friends in town look at me like I am crazy for complaining. It's easy to look at someone differently when you only speak to them 5 minutes at time. You don't see just how controlling they really are! He makes a point of making sure EVERYONE can hear how dissapointed he is in me (should something go wrong) and makes sure they can all hear HOW HE IS GOING TO TAKE CARE OF THINGS NOW (oh the hero he is)....then.....when everyone is gone - HE DOES NOTHING and looks at me in anger when I didn't pick up his pieces. All they see - is this perfect guy.

...please tell me kids really are resilient with divorce. Would like the truth! I appear to have gone on and on again!