I am just plain tired. My job is so very hard. It is not an easy job by any means and my T really does believe that they had an over-functioning me for many years and can't adjust to the reality that I have health issues. I wanna avoid tomorrow at all costs. I am sitting here thinking of ways to get myself hospitalized today. I could do it. My back stuff is such that oooh, even the thought of it, I could make myself bed-ridden and need of pain management in the hospital. I wonder if it will get that bad? Oh I want out. Trigger Trigger, I am being told I am bad even if I didn't mean to be bad and now I will be beaten, again and again and agiain, for something I never did.