I'm not entirely sure why I am so driven. Any number of things could be behind it. Part of it is that there is so much to learn and I want to learn as much as possible and I don't want to miss the opportunity to do it. I know as a child I was often told I would not accomplish much so this is sort of my way to prove everyone wrong. As an older student I am competing with students half my age so I feel as though I have to prove that I belong with these kids (though they have never done anything to make me feel this way. In fact, no one at school has ever made me feel that way). I want to do something important and people will listen to someone who is successful before someone who isn't. Also, I like the challenge. I tend to push myself a little further just to see if I can do it.

Is my self worth attached to my accomplishments? In a sense yes. Who I am is sort of connected to what i do. If I fail then I am a failure. However, I am more than my accomplishments. Admittedly it is hard to keep that in mind sometimes.

No I don't really have anyone other than my therapist at the momment. I have one friend that I have been able to talk to in the past but due to certain reasons that are not important, we are not speaking right now so she is out for the time being.

I'm angry because i set goals and if I do not reach those goals it pisses me off. When I don't reach those goals I tend to replay everything in my head and figure out why I didn't reach the goal and then I get pissed because I should have been able to. Sometimes it is completely irrational but not always.

I have hit burn out more times than I can count. It is actually a normal occurance each semester. Between work and school, I don't have as much down time as i should. I have worked hard to change that but burn out still happens. For the most part I am well aware of this, recognize burn out when it comes and manage it fairly well. I work with other students who experience the same thing so we try ti keep each other motivated for the last couple weeks when burn out is at its peak. And if a little burnout is what it takes to get where i want to be then so be it. My daughter is almost grown, I have no relationship right now so I have the freedom to do what i need to do to get what I want. Now, if I end up in a relationship (not likely right now) things would be different. When my daughter was younger things were also different. I have some priorities but unfortunately, I am not one of them