Welcome Mourning Angels--this is a good place to fight alone-ness--but maybe it is loneliness that is the problem? And that is what I mean PC is good for! We talk A LOT, although, not always in this forum.

There are a few places to go for support--check out the homepage for tabs. There are places to ask for immediate advise and support.

Also, I noted that you said you have no insurance, but do you live in the US? If so, county mental health has a sliding scale, as do many other private, or semi-private practices. By sliding scale, I mean they'll go way low in fees. Please look into that.
And keep posting!