I guess I'm having a hard time being in wise mind right now. My emotion mind is screaming loud and clear, and my reasonable mind is whispering. I think the thing to do when I'm like this is nothing. Just get through it without making anything worse and hope that a more centered moment is on the horizon.

thanks Jexa. I called T already once since my session ended 3 hours ago. Actually, I called her twice, because I missed her first call back. So I know she's TRYING to connect with me and meet what needs she can, but even when I talked to her it was just kind flat and she was obviously distracted and just going through the motions.

It depends on if I can break out of spiraling about this or not. If I can't, I'll call or email her later, because I know from experience that the longer I let myself spiral the harder it is to pull out of it. But, meanwhile, I have some other stuff going on and maybe that will distract me enough to stop the spiral.

Posting here certainly helps with that.


PS: reasonable mind is whispering that I'm mad at T for going on vacation. She told me about it again today, and said she could try to fit me in on the one day she'll be in the office. I had to remind her that we already had this conversation last week and she already booked me on that day. So not only do I feel abandoned by her leaving, but I also feel like she can't distinguish her conversations with me from her conversations with anyone else. That doesn't make me feel very secure or...I don't even know. Not special. Not an individual. Just another person coming into her office and dumping all their problems on her.