i've thought about suicide for 12 years now. what keeps me from ending it all......is....there are alot of other possible options that i can choose to take that will give me different results.

one option for you is to go talk to a professional. maybe TRY medication to see if that helps. another option is go attend a co-dependency (CODA) self-help group. (or at least read up on co-dependency and how it affects you.)

if you really love this woman, you would not want to hurt her in any way. your death would hurt her. if you cannot "live with this wonder and doubt, " then CHOOSE to quit wondering about it and let it go. some things are beyond your control. you can't MAKE someone love you as much as you love them. believe me, I'VE TRIED!!!!! you deserve someone loving you freely as much as you are able to give, (your equal).

<font color=purple> But a stranger in a strange land, he is no one:
men know him not and to know not is to care not for.
Bram Stoker, Dracula, 1897 </font color=purple>