Thanks much all. I don't like to talk on the phone - that is a big trigger for me still. I just want to go be with my T and feel safe and not on guard. It is like that is the only place I can let down this huge shield I carry with me everywhere. And I am spoiled because now I have been able to let it down for an hour a week or two hours sometimes! Now I am like "This shield is so heavy!!" But I can't let it down anywhere else because I get projectiles thrown at me!!! And T didn't reply at all to my email yesterday about no session, so naturally I think he is angry with me. Not that makes me feel like I am walking around in a whole suit of chainmail.