Okay, and having just said all of the above, I want to add this. The definition of what is and isn't acceptable, or "normal" for people is very cloudy at the least. Maybe you think someone needs to change something that can't be changed, or shouldn't be changed, or works better for this person not being changed.
Part of the problem with all of this is that we are taught that there are certain ways of thinking/living/being that are the "correct" "best" or "right" ways to live. That some people are good or smart or successful because they have or do or think A, B, or C.
In reality EVERYONE has issues. And we all need to hold on to what is healthy and good for US, and work on or try to let go of things that are not. What works for one person may not work for another. I am extremely hypersensitive and it causes me much pain. However, if someone said: "Hey, would you rather be like ------? (a cold insensitive person I know)", I would immediately say no. Some of my "'weaknesses" are also my strengths at times, and they are just who I am. Can I learn to make the issue less of a problem for me? Yes, hopefully I can. But it's not because I should be like someone else- there isn't a better perfect way. I want to deal with it better for ME, because it gets in the way of my happiness sometimes. "Shoulds" are harming so many people.
I know for myself that I need to separate out which issues I need to work on because they are interfering with my life, and which ones are just fine. This is a matter of learning to be okay with myself, of finding the self importance I have never had, and of taking control away from my past and those people who have hurt me so much. It is not about me learning to change. It is more about acceptance and coping and making proactive decisions which work best for me- getting to a place where I can feel peaceful and content in the life that I have left.