I really can't stop crying... been crying for the 3 hours.

I have had a GREAT!!!! day out with a friend we went to another city in Scotland to visit a friend who has given birth. My friend who has given birth... her Husband has depression and hasn't been doing too good... so she asked if I could talk with him. We spoke and he and I both said GP knows best and that he is off work at the mo... but its good as it means he is spending his time with his family.

Anyways we left my city at 830am and came back to my city at 530pm. LONG GREAT DAY!!!!!!!!

At night my Dad started on me as did my Sister... they started shouting and moaning at me. I was made to feel everything is my fault. I was meant to be going out with them as a family and decided to stay home as I really can't be bothered playing "happy families" when they have made me go into a flood of tears... they don't know I am crying though been in my room in my duvet all night with no lights on.

I really got so angry tonight and trashed my room... I haven't done this in years. I wanted to S/H but I refrained myself from doing so but I really wanna hurt myself or something. I am a lot calmer now as I write this but was RAGING earlier.

My friend who I was out with today said maybe I have done too much today and its took it's toll... I barely did anything... It took over an hour to get to our destination and an hour back to my city via train. I bused it from town to my house... THAT IS IT!!!!!!!!! NOTHING MAJOR TODAY!!!!!! My friend has just said she thought something was up with me as I was overly cheery today??!!?

Last night I was out with another friend and she was upset as she is going through personal issues and that was hard to see her so upset and "helpless" in some sense. I hope she is ok though, I don't know though

I have been crying for weeks and been ignoring it. I know my work situation is playing havoc on my nerves and anxieties.... I really dont want to go back to work on Monday. DREADING IT COMES MORE TO MIND.

Worried I muck up again... I thought the crying was a blip and that I was doing ok and surviving.... Lack of sleep is maybe not helping. Tonight my body feels dead.... really exhausted and lifeless.

What is wrong with me?
Is this normal?
When will it get better?

Any words of encouragement would be great.... kinda needing something