I'm relieved my brother went back home. Four days is just too long of a visit. Six years ago we were very close. Oh how much he has changed. Or maybe I'm just maturing enough to see him for who he truly is? It tortures me to listen to his conversations. I'm so passive, and I allow him to rattle on about things that irritate me.

#1 He always talks about his oldest child, who is now 20 years old, like she is the only child he has. He has three kids. He is a dead-beat dad. He always is late (sometimes months) in child support payments. He knows nothing about his 17 year old or 14 year old. All three of his kids have sexual abuse traumas but my brother has not helped them by getting them proper counseling.

#2 He has unprotected sex and doesn't tell his partners he is HIV positive. He is a sex addict. He always talks to me for hours, in much detail, about his love life. He tells me all his partner's flaws. He analyzes everything about their relationship and wants me to agree with him or help him analyze what's wrong to help him find his soulmate. He is 38 years old and thinks that going to gay clubs (2 times a week) to find his soulmate will work for him. He has been doing this since he was in his 20's . . . it hasn't worked once. He always talks about different guys; it's getting really old. How can he be in love with a different guy every few months???

#3 He is in denial about his substance abuse addiction. He used X, G, and meth for the past 4 years. I think it has killed one too many of his brain cells. Now he insists he only drinks alcohol. Yeah right!

#4 He always reminds me about past hurts from our childhood.

#5 His politics drive me batty.

Okay, I know I'm not perfect. My point is my brother drives me nuts. I can't stand to listen to him anymore. Why can't I be more assertive and tell him "Stop. I don't want to talk about this," or why can't I change the subject? Why do I allow him to visit longer than he is welcome? Why can't I tell him I think his values SUCK?