Lizardlady, I'd found the same / related links when I Googled the two conditions ......... The possible link between combat PTSD and Alzheimers, the preliminary findings was that it appeared that combat vets had a rate about twice that of general population, is what caught my attention. Though nothing definitive; which isn't surprising because I'd imagine that it will be a difficult cause and effect to prove to a high enough degree for the VA to step up to their responsibility to our vets. Not to mention that the first large group of combat vets now reaching / already in the age group most likely to be affected are Nam vets ......... The potential liability is staggering, if there is a link....... After all, look how long it took for PTSD to be recognized and how wide the affected group and related health issues for those exposed to Agent Orange?

We have private insurance, so he has all private doctors (who actually spend time with him and me, discussing each new health issues and treat him as a person not simply an ailment or medical condition.), using the VA only for his PTSD support group, dental and now, mental health, primarily because in our county there is only one 'receiving center' for those in mental health crisis and due to his physical health, it is not equipped to properly accept a patient with significant health conditions. He's had full work up from his neurologist, multiple CAT's within the last several months; all have come back clear of any problems. I'd even wondered if he'd been having TIA's which I was not catching. Between his neurologist, primary care doctor and his psychiatrist, we'd discussed then dismissed, the possibility of a PET scan, due to the pre scan zero carb diet for 24 and that we're having a difficult enough time getting to eat normally and wanting to get his blood glucose to '0'. A more recent fixation of his, as is his alternating between food not tasting good, him throwing out food when either I or staff at the hospital aren't looking or only wanting to eat ice cream, cookies and candy. Granted though, he has always been very fond of sweets and until he was diagnosed with diabetes, I baked several times a week, fresh bread, home made pasta, always had pies or cookies or other such items in our home.

bebop: In the last five years that my husband has been in the PTSD group, the idea of the group leader having a womens support group has been brought up many times. However the only one actually held was very poorly attended and even reaching out to several of the women about perhaps getting together informally, in a neutral setting even once a month or so, was not well met. Perhaps after decades of learning to cope with the level of social isolation which is not uncommon among those with PTSD, spouses tend to not want to 'rock the boat', as it were; perhaps out of concern that for some of the vets, might not be comfortable with this.

slinger .... True. And as the changes in personality, behavior, increasing depression and other changes have become so great, his doctors have run about every lab work up that can be imagined. And thus far nothing has come back which might indicate a 'simple fix' situation.

Today when I went for visiting with my husband, I was not aware we'd have a meeting with several of the doctors / the social worker / case manager, working with / for my husband. He began to get upset and left the room after a few minutes. After a couple decades I can read when he's about to lose control and was glad he choose to step away for a bit. I explained that his acts / dispalys of violence are increasing and it doesn't require a 'trigger' related to his PTSD; when I walk away, when he's home, he'll follow me because he gets angry when myself or another person does not engage with him, when he's upset. Also explained why this as well as his extreme PTSD and inability to interact or even tolerate others around him, make an ALF, even with a 'memory unit', not a viable option. Only, IMO, a secure VA long term facility specific to his mental health needs, is going to be appropriate.

As this is a teaching facility and as they are and will be, dealing with vets who have been in the Gulf War and now the sandbox, I offered this simple insight:

After these decades of living with and loving and sharing all the good and bad days and crisis that make up a shared life; I know the man my husband is: Good, strong, intelligent with a very deep sense of right and wrong. Specifically that he knows he does not want to hit me or hurt me; but it's as if there's a veil between what the 'real man' knows and his ability to not act out directly, on the impulse to hit, beat, pound, destroy. But that I am very concerned that at some point he'll not be able to take this anger our on 'things'. His drawing his fist on me last week is one step closer to his not being able to control those impulses.

Something he later admitted to the social worker and says he doesn't know why, as well as saying that when people say he's said he wants to kill himself; they don't understand: He's said he'd rather kill himself than hurt me. When asked why he wants to hurt me, he says he doesn't know why, only that he feels this way.

When I called after diner, he seemed to be in good spirits, not overly aggressive or paranoid. However a couple hours later the unit called to say he'd gotten upset over not getting what he wanted and first threw his walker at a doctor then, from the best I could understand, attacked them. The Nurse who called me to explain this, sounded a bit shaken by what had happened. Despite his health problems, when he is angry, he can muster a great deal of strength.

My first concern was that he was ok, then that the doctor was not hurt. It's breaking my heart to see this happening to such a wonderful man. I've been trying to explain to his doctors that this was my fear, for both my husband and myself: that at some point, he would not be able to control his impulses to act on his anger in a very physical manner. Things can be fixed;they're just things..... But people.......... Not always.

In each case when he has been hospitalized in the past year, the various medical care givers have all shared two common observations: He is very 'draining' to work with and he gets very angry whenever he is told he can't do something or is told he needs to wait. Even a few nurses who worked with him in years past, when he's had surgeries, have been saddened to see the change in him from four or five years ago, to now.

Now perhaps they understand why bringing in either a VA worker for two 6 hour days of respite, per month, or hiring a private respite worker, is also, not a viable option, as the potential for physical violence from my husband, is very much a part of our new / current, reality.

I loathe the idea that it has comes down to 'medicate - isolate - sedate - restraint' as a course of dealing with him, when his anger / rage reaching the point of physical violence.......... But I can also understand why this is sometimes the only / last option available. However, those options aren't ones that are possible in an ALF or here in our home.