it's midnight, and I've been up for almost 24 hours. I'm lying in bed crying and looking at my Ts website. My stomach hurts so much. I can't breathe. I don't know what or why or how or where to go from here.

I know I can call my T in the morning, although I don't know what I'll say to her. I wish I had the capability to just sleep right now and wake up tomorrow. When I saw T on Tues (yesterday? ) she made me give her my xanax. I really really wish I had those pills back right now.

I feel a tiny bit better, writing this. My stomach still really really hurts and my chest too, but I can breathe a little bit.