We all know how you feel, first of all. You need to understand that it's not other people you owe it to get better, they don't have an illness. Trust me- they are fine. You need to remember to give yourself a break. You're the one stressing, you're the one worrying/panicking/crying.

I know what you think giving yourself a break means. We all sometimes wish it were that easy- but it's a lie. Ending it is not the comfort you are craving inside. You are treatable, you are. Don't turn a temporary problem into a permanent problem. That's what death is. It's horrible, always. You can live with dignity, you can never die with it. The best you can do for yourself is continue being the wonderful person you are, so when your time does come, you leave behind the gift of memory. You will live on in the thoughts of your loved ones, there to give guidance and support. Even today, this is true- all we have is eachother on this little world.

I know right now this reality can get pretty effed, but together I'm sure we can turn that around. You need to give yourself a little mental reprieve, that's all. Be patient with yourself. Live your life moment to moment, and never look back.