hi everyone back again - not sure if I should start a new thread or keep it here since it's an update. Still hanging out at the higher end of normal (or lower end of hypomania) but running out of energy fast. I just realized I have worked 42 hrs in the past 3 days, and Im sched to work another 14 hrs today. I dont even have that "Im to tired to go to work feeling". I have slept about 3 to 4 hrs each night and and starting to feel a bit of lag but not much. I am kinda pleased with myself as the money will be nice and I have used all this energy constructively. It also has been nice to avoid the family....not in a bad way - I know they are supportive - but I cant change the way I feel and I hate taking pills that make me all loopy (sp). Besides, it has kept me from facing the family. I understand now, that I am putting them in a "be the bad guy" situation and keeping my distance reduces their stress to :-) Last night I got a bit worried because I was starting to "see things" that were not there. I know they were not real cuz it was stupid stuff like a polar bear on the side of the road. Silly part is I even stoped to look at it then realized "yea right like that is really going to happen in michigan". I'm still in my right mind, so I'm able to say "thats not real".

After today I have the next two days off and I'm afraid this isnt going to slow down. I know myself and if I keep real busy I can keep my mind off myself and keep my focus on other things. Ignoring it persay. Not sure how to handle where I'm at at this point. I know in the past when this happen the family sends me to the psych doc who ends up putting me in the hospital, but his time I've managed to avoid the family thus the appointment but "crap" I have the next two days off! As I have read through the other posts Im worried I've probably made a poor choice. But I am "standing my ground" and I'm not going to the hospital! I guess I be taking the "loopy" pills for the next few days and try and find something constructive to do.

PS: Its kinda nice to write all this stuff down.its like telling a secret friend how you "really feel" without the fear that they're going to overreact and judge me..reading back has been helpfull, like a diary with a non-judgemental advice. Thanks everyone!