The best thing to do is to talk to your therapist about your mixed up thoughts and anything else that concerns you. You can certainly do all the research that you like too, and take it along with you to talk about with your therapist. We don't know nearly as much about you, so whatever we tell you needs to be weighed and considered with that in mind.

Messed up thoughts can often be part of Borderline Personality Disorder. BPD was called that because it tends to mimic lots of other mental disorders, so it seems like people with BPD are bordering on many different things which could include mania, depression, psychosis, dissociative disorders, etc. A lot of the same or similar symptoms can happen. You might want to click on "disorders" in the menu bar and do a little bit of reading. Then discuss anything that stands out to you with your therapist.

Good Luck, and let us know how it goes,
Rap