WePow: I am deeply sorry for the way you're feeling and treating yourself now. There have been many times that, when T says or writes something that hurts you and you feel is off the mark, you say "that's it" and decide to wall yourself off from him. Do you think there is a middle ground here? Or that you're thinking is a little bit twisted?

Each time this happens you go back and you do reestablish your trust with T. He tells you that he IS there for you and you can trust him. It's easier for you to continue the pattern of not trusting anyone. That makes perfect sense, but it's not black or white. T is a trustworthy person.

I'm probably grasping at straws and not helping. You've helped me so much that I hope you take this the right way, that I wish I could say the right thing. It hurts me to think of you snapping a rubber band when you think about your T.