Hey Rainbow, what's IFS? I just googled it and found out it stands for a lot of different things that have absolutely nothing to do with therapy, I just can't find the one that does have to do with therapy

Anyway, I'm not sure if my issues are similar to yours but I'm also dealing with what I'd call small traumas. I like your phrase One struggle for me has been to believe they're worth paying attention to in spite of being small. I was afraid I was just being self indulgent and feeling sorry for myself. But, actually, not deeply acknowledging that those little things that happened really hurt and affected me and, therefore, some of the ways I act now are slightly screwed up, is what winds up leading me to be self indulgent and various other negative things.

Something that helped me was when I realized how the feeling those small traumas caused is the same as some of the negative feelings I have sometimes now. (Though it wasn't always noticeable to me that I even have those negative feelings, I'm so used to them.) Anyway, that's how I got past just being able to talk about the trauma to understanding why it made a difference in who I am now. And then on to it's making some improvement in how I feel now.

I'm not sure that's what you're looking for, since you're asking about therapy techniques, but figured I'd give it a try anyway.