So a week ago my wife whom I have been separated from since September, is sleeping around. I have been working to get back in the system and get a therapist while working with my doctor on the meds. we had talked about a temporary separation but this is too much. I love her with all my soul and can't help it, so I crashed, I haven't slept for more than 15 minuets at a time and usually wake up screaming from the nightmares. The rest of the time I am gripped with total anxiety which makes it hard to even breathe, I mean every breath requires physical effort. Have not been able to eat either, I think I lost 15 pounds this week. I am afraid of going totally manic. I am in hell right now. I have lost my voice because I sit in my car and scream as loud and hard as I can. I don't have a job and cant find one, let alone keep one at this point. This provides me with plenty of time to despair until I see a therapist. Sanity is something I seem to be real short on. I seem to be under more stress than I can handle. My 5 year old daughter asks me everyday when I am coming home, and I tell her I don't know and try not to cry. I just tell her daddy is sick right now. I pick her up from school and take her to my former home where all my animals and most of my possessions are, and watch her for 4-5 hours until she gets home from work. She wont talk to me and I try to talk to her. Its killing me. No one should ever have to feel the way I do. I would not, could not wish this on my own worst enemy (besides myself of course). I am beginning to wonder if I have died and this is hell. Cant stop shaking, or crying, I am not suicidal (Thank you God), but I am a total wreck. I have to watch my daughter this week end and my wife said she was going out of town so I am totally screwed up about that as well. I so need to relieve stress right now and nothing is working. I see my doctor in 11 hours. Maybe a medicated vacation is in order so I can sit in the corner and drool. It's funny too that when the sun goes down the anxiety quadruples. I am so sick of feeling weak and helpless, I am a damn Biker for love of pete. I just hurt so much and want it to heal!