Thanks, Omers. It could be that I don't want to admit it was trauma at all, though my T thinks so.

Eileen, thank you. Just talking about it hasn't helped me for years, so there's either nothing to talk about or I do need to feel it.

learning, IFS stands for Internal Family Systems, and it's the model of therapy my T uses. Thanks for your comments on your therapy. It sounds like what I need to do also--to relate the feelings then to negative feelings now. I tend to say those incidents were minor but the effects may not be minor. I'm sort of in the denial stage.

VenusHalley, thank you. It screwed up something but I'm not sure exactly what yet.

I still don't know if I believe my T when she says I suffered trauma in my childhood!! That's the bottom line. It's like she is seeing something I'm not, and that's very scary to me. I don't get it! Is she right and I'm in denial? I don't get the relationship between my needing her so much and the so called trauma. Or are they separate issues? My head is all messed up with this stuff and I wish I didn't have to wait 2 weeks for my session. I'm holding off on the email in case I need it next week.