I can really really relate. As a part of my growing depression over the past two years I found myself sleeping more and more, particularly napping on weekends instead of keeping to the plans I had made.

After being released from the hospital I found myself sleeping CONSTANTLY. I kept fighting the urge to get into bed because I know it is not helpful toward getting past the depression. Still I found myself drawn strongly to the bed everyday, and on those days when I was able to fight the urge I then became extremely sleepy so that I was forced into bed anyway, as though my body was sabotaging my attempts to be productive during the day.

I also have several medical illnesses that are likely contributing to the fatigue, but I do believe that the depression is the main cause of this urge.

Recently they switched me to Wellbutrin specifically because it helps raise the energy level. It has helped a lot in that regard. I am finally able to make it through the day without getting back into bed, although I still sleep very long hours each night.

But now I have another problem, that which kvin describes. I often feel so much emotional pain during the day, all day long, and linger on the fact that I am alone here trying to fight this illness, and many days I wish that I could sleep just to relieve the pain for a part of the day, even though I know that for me that will work against my fight to get past this.

Basically for me it is the same as kvin. Being awake for most of the day just affords me more time for suicidal ideation during the day. Most days I just try to get through, watch TV at night, and then get the relief of sleeping when I feel safe to consider it "bedtime" for myself.

I remember reading recently some research on Prozac (that's the med they started me on in the hospital 2 months ago) and discovered that there was some controversy surrounding some statistics that for some people the Prozac actually increased the likelihood of suicide. Much of the explanation seems to present the fact that the medication doesn't cause an increase in suicide, but rather that severely depressed people lack the energy to go through with it. The medication provides some relief from this fatigue as the patient starts to improve. It seems logical to me that there is a "middle ground" in there when the medication begins to work but before the depression is fully (or mostly) relieved.

The Prozac for me did nothing to improve my depression and I was basically sleeping all day and all night. That's why we switched to Lexipro and then Wellbutrin. Right now I try to keep those research readings in mind because I feel that I am right at that point, where the Wellbutrin has given me energy, I am no longer sleeping all day, but yet I am still in a lot of emotional pain only now I get to "experience" it for more hours during the day.

I think this is a very important reason to stay in therapy during the recovery process and really put into place as many coping skills as possible. One of my problems is that I have switched doctors because of my insurance and I find myself going weeks at a time until my next appointment, at least until I get into a regular appointment schedule with my therapist, hopefully once a week. In the meantime I am trying to get to as many support groups as I can and keep posting here just to get me through.

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
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