"What am I? Some kind of monster?? Should send out a red flag about how she feels about herself hmmmm?

Check out this site and see if you can relate...

http://daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com

It's hard to back away from people like this because of the negative emotional bond they create. Maybe look up traits and see if you mother has some. This is not a diagnostic tool, but it can help you learn how to deal with your mother in a healthier way.

Sending you big hugs and I hope that site helps.