It was wonderful to read your post and especially to see that someone else out there is feeling how I used to feel. All I can say is DON'T do what I did unless you are ready to take the consequences. Infidelity and all of it's excitements and huge passion is of course all consuming at first but when it wears off you realize what you gave up for something that will never last and quickly fizzles out. And you realize what you are stuck with ..someone that you have nothing in common with, someone who is full of faults and who you could never have a future with. That is how i find myself right now. I see more and more that this guy I am involved with is just totally wrong for me. My husband who I left, was totally right for me. In every way. And I gave that up for sex....how dumb is that. Anyhow....reading your post I just feel so much for you and how you are feeling. Does your husband have any idea how you really feel about the physical side of your relationship? Have you ever thought of counselling...even if it is on your own if you are afraid of him finding out how you feel? I would so hate to see you go on for years and years feeling like you do and someday getting in a weak situation somewhere that leads you into doing what I did. I would never ever do this again. I can definitely say that right now I am not happy, not content and just sort of existing day to day. Your husband sounds wonderful...your life sounds (almost?) perfect. Don't give it up for fleeting passion!!!!

I need to make a break from this guy. I know that. I just seem to have such a hard time doing it. Just last night we had another argument. He voiced an opinion and I voiced mine on the same subject area. Then he got all antagonistic: swearing and telling me my opinion was totally wrong. This has happened before many times. I am slowly realizing that I am receiving verbal abuse from him. I have read up on all of the signs and a lot of them point to our arguments. I myself hate arguments and would love to just have a normal conversation with him about something...a normal "debate" or whatever...two differing opinions sharing ideas with respect for what the other person is saying. But that is totally not possible with him. It all turns angry with him before I know it. I sit there with my heart beating fast and that feeling in my stomach. And again and again I wonder why am I still here? Why do I let him disrespect me...because that is what it is.

I need to break from him but I also need to tell him exactly why I am doing it. He needs to get help with this communcation skills, his anger and antagonistic side. I know I cannot change him. Everytime I let him treat me like this I am saying to him..."That is okay"...you can raise your voice at me, tell me I am full of [censored], or swear at me.

Thanks everyone for all of the posts and opinions and ideas. Very much appreciated.
Keep in touch Steph!!