So, I really lost my head in August and went through a period where I was doing a lot of SI, cutting in the same place over and over, etc. I stopped in the middle of August, but now the scars are still SO bad. Viciously purple, dark, and deep, even all these months later. Every day I look at them and feel so depressed. I have realized that I now have 40 lifetime scars on my leg from that period in my life. I wish I had not gone so deep

I don't know what I'm going to say to the next guy I date. I have never dated a guy and had such obvious SI scars before. I don't think anyone I know (except my closest, closest friends) would have any idea that I am the kind of person who would SI. Most people think I am really bubbly and happy. So now any guy I date and decide to do anything physical with will know how sad and self-destructive I can get. I'm really uncomfortable with that. And, I don't want to start liking a guy, only to find that he rejects me because of this.

Is there a way to avoid explaining what the scars are from? They are 40 neat, diagonal slashes toward the top of my left calf. What else could make a mark like that? They are WAY too deep to be explained as cat scratches or anything like that. They are too wide as well. Has anyone else found a good cover for explaining deep, wide, dark-colored, obvious scars?

How do you explain this to guys you date? How soon do you explain? What's appropriate? Should I let them know really soon what they are getting themselves into, or wait until the situation comes about where they are forced to ask where those scars came from?

I am just feeling really hopeless about ever feeling comfortable in a relationship ever again. Now it's like I have a sign plastered on me for all to see:

Damaged Goods.