I think what your T was trying to say is that there isn't going to be that one day where you wake up and all your negative thoughts are completely gone. Negative thoughts are part of life, and everyone has them. Some just have them more than others, due to mental illness or negative experiences in our lives. The goal of therapy is not to get rid of everything negative in your life, because that is impossible. It is to learn how to cope on your own when things get bad. Learning how to survive the storm. Because storms are a part of life. I'm not saying that suicidal thoughts are a part of every normal person's life. But for us with mental illness, its probably impossible for us to never think about it ever again. I don't know if that helps you feel better or not. Just think of all the skills you have learned and will learn, to overcome those negative thoughts!