Time0,
Sorry you are having a hard time-- please be safe.

Yes, this is just how I am:
>>"The more I am hurt, the more I hate myself, the more I am reckless. "<<

When I have inner pain-- the thought of hating myself accompanies it-- and then the not caring what happens to me follows (reckless - in that, I seek things that aren't in my best interest)

mandy