well, I don't think it is right for her to set treatment goals when you are obviously asking for appropriate things.
I read something a while ago... It used technical terms and I'm not going to but... It said that there are two categories that most peoople fall into. One group is the warm fuzzys that want to make everyone feel good and the other is more task driven, goal oriented. So it sounds like your T falls into the warm fuzzy group and from reading several of your posts that does not strike me as the kind of T that would be a good fit for you. I can't work with warm fuzzies, they drive me nuts!
My T is female but she is very direct and goal oriented. I set the goals but if they are not "theraputic" in her mind she shoots them down right away. She is very firm, blunt and honest. I think that even if a T is female but more like mine you may be more able to work with them. Male T's tend to be more goal driven types too.
I tried to work out of a county based group that took my insurance too and it didn't work out. Any T that was there long term was still there because they couldn't get a job elsewhere or get enough clients to go private practice. I am not saying that this is always the case as a friend of mine in another state had a good county T. Anyway... the rest of the T's were just out of school and trying to get experience.
With as much as you seem to know about therapy and the system it may also help to find someone who has experience working with other T's. In one session with my county T we were discussing how to navigate the system as I was "doing it all wrong". I replied with... When I do it this way I get my needs met (I get my meds) and therefore rewarded for my behavior. If I do it your way my needs go unmet... It is basic B.F. Skinner... They asked who this Skinner guy was. I then rattled off other major names in psychology to discover he knew very few of them... I was outta there!!!!