today is my eldest childs birthday..he 21..he is having a fabulous time and went on a trip for his b-day,,he is a good student and studying very hard,,i am feeling guily about not being the best mom,,i had him when i was 16 and eventually married his father and had 2 more children..i was a good mom but emotionally i was always distraught in my relationship with his father..so he seen me cry alot or end up arguing,,when my husband and i split it was very hard on our children,,no matter what i did or didnt do his father talked bad things about me,,i dont believe it is right to try and make the mother of your children look bad to her children,well since then(5 years) the relationship with my son has been strained,,he does not look at me like he use to..i think he thinks i was a terrible mother..prob an emotional basketcase at points,,but i have never done anything to harm them consiously..at 21 he has not dated yet and his father and new girlfriend would tease him about this..i told him that he is concentrating on his schooling and making a future and that in time he will find a person he feels comfortable with..is it normal to not date yet? even if its not i would never pressure him or make him feel stupid..i wish his father would care enough to realize what he is doing...do you think my mothering would affect him so that he would not date? i wish we were close like we use to be but i do not pressure him